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Solve Picky Eating: 12 Expert Tips for Parents of Picky Eaters
August 2021
Last reviewed: May 2026
Author:
Jennifer Anderson, MSPH, RDN
Coauthors:
Alexandria Delozier, PHD
Elizabeth Cotter, MPH, RDN
Erinn Jacobi, M.S. OTR/L
Hyemyung Kim, RD, CDN, CNSC, CLC
Johane Filemon, MS, RDN, CLT
Laura Petix, M.S. OTR/L
Stefanie Kain, B.S. M.Ed
About Kids Eat in Color
Created by experts, Kids Eat in Color is the leading resource for families seeking evidence-based information and strategies on child nutrition and feeding.
As an Amazon Associate, Kids Eat in Color® earns from qualifying purchases made through affiliate links.
Author:
Jennifer Anderson, MSPH, RDN
Coauthors:
Alexandria Delozier, PHD
Elizabeth Cotter, MPH, RDN
Erinn Jacobi, M.S. OTR/L
Hyemyung Kim, RD, CDN, CNSC, CLC
Johane Filemon, MS, RDN, CLT
Laura Petix, M.S. OTR/L
Stefanie Kain, B.S. M.Ed
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Feeding toddlers and kids is hard! You haven’t failed as a parent just because you have a picky toddler or child.
Millions of parents come to us needing support, and our team of dietitians, occupational therapists, psychologists and more put together these twelve steps for you to take.
If you’re tired of all the effort it takes to just get your toddler to take a bite or your older child to eat at mealtimes, start having “no-pressure” meals in addition to the other strategies in our free picky eater guide. When you have a meal ready for your child, let them decide if they are going to eat. Believe it or not, giving them the choice helps them to learn to like more foods over time!
Here are some examples of what pressure looks like:
“Just try one more bite.”
“You have to eat it or you can’t go out to play.”
“You will make mom very happy if you try a bite.”
“You can have dessert as soon as you try this food.”
It may feel uncomfortable to avoid pressuring your child when they are not eating at first, but it does get easier. The goal is to create a pleasant and inviting eating environment for your child so they can learn to like new foods.
3. Say, “You can eat it when you’re ready”
“I no eat.” “I don’t want it.” “That’s disgusting.”
Toddlers and older kids love to tell you their opinions about meal options. You can fight with them and force them to eat a certain amount, but that may prevent eating progress.
Instead, you can say, “You can eat it when you’re ready.”
Have your child stay at the table for an age-appropriate amount of time, and then let them get down. Sometimes kids just aren’t hungry, and that’s OK. The kitchen will open again soon (see the next tip!), and one meal isn’t going to outweigh the variety of food your child eats in a week.
Just do yourself and your child one favor. Make sure you put at least one food they usually like on the table. That way, there is something they can eat.
4. Have open and closed hours for the kitchen
Letting kids graze all day can backfire. This is especially true for a child who is already picky, as they are less likely to feel hunger and much less willing to try new foods.
Instead of letting your child eat whenever they want, open the kitchen at certain times. Then, close the kitchen when snack time or mealtime is over. Having a toddler eating schedule or a schedule for older kids, can make a huge difference.
Kids need three meals and 0-3 snacks per day, depending on the child and the family circumstances. Serving kids meals and snacks on a routine (approximately every 2-4 hours) can go a long way in improving picky eating.
5. Sit down to eat
Sitting down helps picky eaters eat. Yes, it’s tempting to chase a toddler around the house with a spoon, or let a 7-year-old eat in front of the TV. Approaches like these can sometimes work in the short term, but it doesn’t help picky eating in the long term.
Instead, have eating places and have kids sit down to eat. You can learn the procedure for teaching kids to sit for a longer period of time in our free 14-page picky eater guide. It helps prevent choking, and it also can help kids slow down and listen to their bodies, which allows them to eat better.
Many parents who have a picky eater are worried about their child’s nutrition or growth. So it makes sense that you would feel the need to feed your child what they will eat. You’re the head chef at your home restaurant though, and you decide what will be available on the menu. They can decide if they will eat it all or just part of it.
Remember to always serve a food you know your child will usually eat, along with whatever else you are serving. That way, if your toddler is not eating dinner, you know they had reasonable choices. If you find your child never ever tries a new food, then it might be helpful to take the PSA-Eat (Pediatric Screener for ARFID and Extreme Picky Eating) to learn more about their eating.
7. Add some fun with food activities
Kids love a little fun in their meals. Food activities can be a powerful tool for parents. Whether that’s cutting a sandwich into triangles instead of squares or trying a new utensil, that little spark could make a child more willing to engage with a new food.
Have your child cut food into a new shape (with an age-appropriate knife or cookie cutter and supervision), or wash and prepare the food.
You don’t have to let your child make a big mess. You can set boundaries if your toddler starts to throw food. If that happens, you can stop the play.
8. Keep serving it
If you follow us on social media, you’ll hear us saying “expose, expose, expose” all the time. Exposing kids to food means offering the food repeatedly (and in various ways), even if they haven’t learned to like it yet. Showing kids foods you want them to eat is one of the most important things you can do.
Often parents of toddlers or older kids say, “I know they won’t eat it. Why should I serve it?” Because if you never serve it, they will never eat it.
You don’t have to waste food, but you do need to keep putting it on the table if you want them to eat it.
Our picky eater food guides may be helpful to you. Each one helps you teach your child to try a new food.
You’ll hear a lot of people try to get kids to eat or not eat foods by telling them a certain food is “good” or ”bad” for them. Our educational specialist, psychologist and dietitians disagree! Telling kids food is good or bad doesn’t make them any more willing to try the new food. For some kids, it may make them feel worse about themselves based on their food choices.
Instead, it helps to teach kids what food does in their bodies. “Carrots have vitamin A, which helps us see in the dark.” Facts like these help kids learn to take care of their bodies, have a good relationship with food, and feed their desire to learn. You can give your child interesting phrases with our printables or poster. It can also help with picky eating!
When we use dessert to bribe kids to eat dinner, it makes them think dessert is better and dinner is worse. Cookies are amazing, broccoli is gross.
Try serving dessert with dinner. This will make dessert and all foods equal. If serving dessert with dinner does not work for your family, it can also be offered with other foods during snack time or other meals. The main thing to remember is that however dessert is presented, it shouldn’t be tied to eating a certain amount of the meal.
11. Model the behavior you want to see
When your child watches you, they learn to eat what you eat! Model all the strategies we discussed here in front of your child. Often the most effective way this can happen is through family meals. Family meals are so important it’s one of the four core practices we talk about in our free 14-page picky eater guide, From Stress to Success: 4 Ways to Help Your Child Eat Better Without Losing Your Mind.
Let your kid see you eat a variety of different foods. If there is a food you don’t enjoy, try it in front of your child. It’s OK to let them know that you are learning to like this food. You can say, “I’m learning to like this food. Maybe I’ll try more another day.”
You can model how to talk about the foods on your own plate, use neutral language to discuss dessert, and even play with your own food to help them engage with theirs!
Eat with your child whenever it works for your family. Maybe you have dinners together, or maybe you eat lunch together on the weekends. Whatever works for your family is great.
12. Use expert tools for extremely picky eaters or kids with ARFID
You can use all of the tips above if your child has ARFID or extreme picky eating, but treating ARFID goes further. Families usually need a combination of parent training and health care for their child.
Whatever your situation, we know picky eating is a struggle, and we’re rooting for you! If you haven’t already, we have our free 14-page picky eater guide ready for you to learn more and get your child on the road to eating more foods.
About Kids Eat in Color
Created by experts, Kids Eat in Color is the leading resource for families seeking evidence-based information and strategies on child nutrition and feeding.
Jennifer Anderson is a registered dietitian and has a masters of science in public health from Johns Hopkins School of Public Health. In 2019, she founded Kids Eat in Color®, a public health resource that improves child and family nutrition and mental health. Prior to starting Kids Eat in Color® she coordinated youth nutrition programs at a food bank, performed research in inner-city food deserts, and consulted for the USDA national office SNAP-Ed program. Her academic background is in public health nutrition, cultural anthropology, and economics.
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Does ARFID Go Away? Understanding ARFID Recovery in Children
Feeding toddlers and kids is hard! You haven’t failed as a parent just because you have a picky toddler or child.
Millions of parents come to us needing support, and our team of dietitians, occupational therapists, psychologists and more put together these twelve steps for you to take.
1. First, know your child’s picky eating
The first thing to determine is whether your child’s picky eating is typical or something more serious. Take our ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) and extreme picky eating screener to find out. If it’s more serious, additional tools and support from the ones listed below will also be needed.
2. Start “no-pressure” meals
If you’re tired of all the effort it takes to just get your toddler to take a bite or your older child to eat at mealtimes, start having “no-pressure” meals in addition to the other strategies in our free picky eater guide. When you have a meal ready for your child, let them decide if they are going to eat. Believe it or not, giving them the choice helps them to learn to like more foods over time!
Here are some examples of what pressure looks like:
It may feel uncomfortable to avoid pressuring your child when they are not eating at first, but it does get easier. The goal is to create a pleasant and inviting eating environment for your child so they can learn to like new foods.
3. Say, “You can eat it when you’re ready”
“I no eat.” “I don’t want it.” “That’s disgusting.”
Toddlers and older kids love to tell you their opinions about meal options. You can fight with them and force them to eat a certain amount, but that may prevent eating progress.
Instead, you can say, “You can eat it when you’re ready.”
Have your child stay at the table for an age-appropriate amount of time, and then let them get down. Sometimes kids just aren’t hungry, and that’s OK. The kitchen will open again soon (see the next tip!), and one meal isn’t going to outweigh the variety of food your child eats in a week.
Just do yourself and your child one favor. Make sure you put at least one food they usually like on the table. That way, there is something they can eat.
4. Have open and closed hours for the kitchen
Letting kids graze all day can backfire. This is especially true for a child who is already picky, as they are less likely to feel hunger and much less willing to try new foods.
Instead of letting your child eat whenever they want, open the kitchen at certain times. Then, close the kitchen when snack time or mealtime is over. Having a toddler eating schedule or a schedule for older kids, can make a huge difference.
Kids need three meals and 0-3 snacks per day, depending on the child and the family circumstances. Serving kids meals and snacks on a routine (approximately every 2-4 hours) can go a long way in improving picky eating.
5. Sit down to eat
Sitting down helps picky eaters eat. Yes, it’s tempting to chase a toddler around the house with a spoon, or let a 7-year-old eat in front of the TV. Approaches like these can sometimes work in the short term, but it doesn’t help picky eating in the long term.
Instead, have eating places and have kids sit down to eat. You can learn the procedure for teaching kids to sit for a longer period of time in our free 14-page picky eater guide. It helps prevent choking, and it also can help kids slow down and listen to their bodies, which allows them to eat better.
If you’ve got a little one, finding the right high chair can also help!
6. Grown-ups set the menu
Many parents who have a picky eater are worried about their child’s nutrition or growth. So it makes sense that you would feel the need to feed your child what they will eat. You’re the head chef at your home restaurant though, and you decide what will be available on the menu. They can decide if they will eat it all or just part of it.
Remember to always serve a food you know your child will usually eat, along with whatever else you are serving. That way, if your toddler is not eating dinner, you know they had reasonable choices. If you find your child never ever tries a new food, then it might be helpful to take the PSA-Eat (Pediatric Screener for ARFID and Extreme Picky Eating) to learn more about their eating.
7. Add some fun with food activities
Kids love a little fun in their meals. Food activities can be a powerful tool for parents. Whether that’s cutting a sandwich into triangles instead of squares or trying a new utensil, that little spark could make a child more willing to engage with a new food.
For many kids, involving them in the process of making food more fun can actually make it an even bigger win as we talk about in From Stress to Success: 4 Ways to Help Your Child Eat Better Without Losing Your Mind (it’s free!).
Have your child cut food into a new shape (with an age-appropriate knife or cookie cutter and supervision), or wash and prepare the food.
You don’t have to let your child make a big mess. You can set boundaries if your toddler starts to throw food. If that happens, you can stop the play.
8. Keep serving it
If you follow us on social media, you’ll hear us saying “expose, expose, expose” all the time. Exposing kids to food means offering the food repeatedly (and in various ways), even if they haven’t learned to like it yet. Showing kids foods you want them to eat is one of the most important things you can do.
Often parents of toddlers or older kids say, “I know they won’t eat it. Why should I serve it?” Because if you never serve it, they will never eat it.
You don’t have to waste food, but you do need to keep putting it on the table if you want them to eat it.
Our picky eater food guides may be helpful to you. Each one helps you teach your child to try a new food.
9. Teach kids what foods do in their bodies
You’ll hear a lot of people try to get kids to eat or not eat foods by telling them a certain food is “good” or ”bad” for them. Our educational specialist, psychologist and dietitians disagree! Telling kids food is good or bad doesn’t make them any more willing to try the new food. For some kids, it may make them feel worse about themselves based on their food choices.
Instead, it helps to teach kids what food does in their bodies. “Carrots have vitamin A, which helps us see in the dark.” Facts like these help kids learn to take care of their bodies, have a good relationship with food, and feed their desire to learn. You can give your child interesting phrases with our printables or poster. It can also help with picky eating!
We love to teach you age-appropriate things you can say about foods in our collection of picky eater food guides.
10. Make dessert less exciting
When we use dessert to bribe kids to eat dinner, it makes them think dessert is better and dinner is worse. Cookies are amazing, broccoli is gross.
Try serving dessert with dinner. This will make dessert and all foods equal. If serving dessert with dinner does not work for your family, it can also be offered with other foods during snack time or other meals. The main thing to remember is that however dessert is presented, it shouldn’t be tied to eating a certain amount of the meal.
11. Model the behavior you want to see
When your child watches you, they learn to eat what you eat! Model all the strategies we discussed here in front of your child. Often the most effective way this can happen is through family meals. Family meals are so important it’s one of the four core practices we talk about in our free 14-page picky eater guide, From Stress to Success: 4 Ways to Help Your Child Eat Better Without Losing Your Mind.
Let your kid see you eat a variety of different foods. If there is a food you don’t enjoy, try it in front of your child. It’s OK to let them know that you are learning to like this food. You can say, “I’m learning to like this food. Maybe I’ll try more another day.”
You can model how to talk about the foods on your own plate, use neutral language to discuss dessert, and even play with your own food to help them engage with theirs!
Eat with your child whenever it works for your family. Maybe you have dinners together, or maybe you eat lunch together on the weekends. Whatever works for your family is great.
12. Use expert tools for extremely picky eaters or kids with ARFID
Whether your toddler isn’t eating much, or is refusing to eat anything but milk, serious eating problems are stressful.
Extreme picky eating and ARFID are different from typical picky eating. You can find out if your child’s eating is more serious than typical picking eating using the PSA-Eat (Pediatric Screener for ARFID and Extreme Picky Eating). It’s a free, instant screener developed by credentialed pediatric specialists.
You can use all of the tips above if your child has ARFID or extreme picky eating, but treating ARFID goes further. Families usually need a combination of parent training and health care for their child.
Whatever your situation, we know picky eating is a struggle, and we’re rooting for you! If you haven’t already, we have our free 14-page picky eater guide ready for you to learn more and get your child on the road to eating more foods.